You Don't Mess with the Zohan

Zohan Dvir (Adam Sandler) is a superhuman but kind-hearted Israeli counter terrorist and the finest and most respected soldier in the Israel Defense Forces. However, Zohan has become bored and sickened by the constant fighting, secretly dreaming of moving to the USA and becoming a hairdresser. Zohan goes on a mission to stop a Palestinian terrorist group being led by his personal arch-enemy, Fatoush "the Phantom" Hakbarah (John Turturro). During the pursuit he fakes his own death, and smuggles himself onto a flight to New York City, cutting his own hair and takes the alias "Scrappy Coco" (the names of two dogs he shared the flight with) while claiming that he is "Half Australian, Half Mount Everest." Meanwhile the Phantom becomes incredibly rich and famous for supposedly killing Zohan, gaining his own fast food business.

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Zohan is identified by a Palestinian cab driver named Salim (Rob Schneider), who bears a grudge against Zohan for taking his goat away. Salim convinces his friends to help him kill Zohan, but he is forced after a failed bomb attempt to contact Phantom. Salim attempts to blackmail Phantom, but he ends up getting the stiff end of the deal as he convinces Phantom to visit New York to find Zohan. Meanwhile, Zohan realizes that he has fallen in love with Dalia, and comes clean to Michael and his mother about his true identity, before meeting Dalia. Dalia rejects Zohan after he reveals he was formerly an Israeli counter-terrorist operative. Zohan decides to leave Dalia and confront Phantom in a championship Hacky Sack game sponsored by Walbridge. Zohan's fight is cut short with sudden news of the Middle Eastern block being attacked, and he quickly leaves.

Zohan arrives and calms the Israelis and Palestinians, who each blame the other for the violence, while making peace with Salim. Phantom then appears and confronts Zohan, but Zohan refuses to fight. Dalia appears, revealing that she is Phantom's sister, and convinces her brother to cooperate with Zohan against the arsonists, revealed to be white racist rednecks hired by Walbridge to instigate an inter-ethnic riot so he can get his new mall in the aftermath. 

As Zohan and Phantom work to save the block, the latter admits that he always wanted to be a shoe salesman rather than a terrorist. Although the rednecks are defeated and Walbridge sent to jail, Phantom accidentally destroys all of the shops on the block. However, with the Israelis and the Palestinians united, the block is transformed into a collectively owned mall called the Peace and Brotherhood Fire Insurance Mall. Phantom opens a shoe store in the mall, Salim gets a new goat which he gives children rides on, and Zohan and Dalia open a joint beauty parlor, Zohan having married Dalia. Zohan's parents show up approving his new life before asking that he cut their hair, which he happily does.

Alice in the Wonderland

   

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Troubled by a strange recurring dream and mourning the loss of her beloved father, nineteen-year-old Alice Kingsleigh  attends a garden party at Lord Ascot's estate, where she is confronted by an unwanted marriage proposal and the stifling expectations of the society in which she lives. Unsure of how to reply, and increasingly confused, she runs away to chase after a rabbit in a blue waistcoat, and accidentally falls into a large rabbit hole. She is transported to a world called Underland, where she is greeted by the White Rabbit, the Dormouse, the Dodo, and Tweedledum and Tweedledee. They argue over her identity as "the right Alice", who it is foretold will slay the Red Queen'sJabberwocky on the Frabjous Day and restore the White Queen to power. The group is then ambushed by the Bander. On the way to the White Queen's castle, Hatter relates the terror of the Red Queen's reign, and comments that Alice is not the same as she once was. The Hatter helps Alice avoid capture by allowing himself to be seized instead. Later, Alice is found by Bayard the Bloodhound, who wishes to take her to the White Queen, but Alice insists upon helping the Hatter, so they go to the Red Queen's castle.

The Red Queen is unaware of Alice's true identity and therefore welcomes her as a guest. Alice learns that the Vorpal Sword (the only weapon capable of killing the Jabberwocky) is locked away in a case inside the Bandersnatch's den. The Knave crudely attempts to seduce Alice, but she rebuffs him. She later manages to retrieve the sword and befriend the Bandersnatch. The Knave finds her with the sword and attempts to arrest her. Alice escapes on the back of the Bandersnatch and delivers the sword to the White Queen. The Cheshire Cat saves the Hatter from execution, and the Hatter calls for rebellion against the Red Queen. The rebellion is quickly put down by Jubjub bird. The resistance flees to the White Queen's castle, and both armies prepare for battle. Alice remains unsure about the expectation for her to champion the White Queen, and meets with Absolem the Caterpillar. He reminds Alice of her past visit to Underland (which she mistakenly called "Wonderland" at the time) thirteen years earlier, and helps give her the courage to fight the Jabberwocky.

When the Frabjous Day arrives, both the White and Red Queens gather their armies on a chessboard-like battlefield and send forth their chosen champions (armor-clad Alice and the Jabberwocky respectively) to decide the fate of Underland. Encouraging herself with the words of her late father, Alice manages to kill the Jabberwocky. The White Queen then banishes the Red Queen and the Knave to the Outlands, and gives Alice a vial of the Jabberwocky’s blood, which will take her home. The Hatter suggests that she could stay in Underland, but she decides that she must go back and promises that she will return.

Alice returns home, where she stands up to her family and pledges to live life on her own terms. Impressed, Lord Ascot takes her in as his apprentice, with the idea of establishing oceanic trade routes to China. As the story closes, Alice prepares to set off on a trading ship. Absolem, now a butterfly, lands on her shoulder. Alice recognizes him and greets him before he flutters away.

Monte Carlo

          Monte Carlo is a movie about Grace (Selena Gomez) and her friend Emma (Katie Cassidy) and sister Meg (Leighton Meester) embarking on the trip of a lifetime to lovely Paris, France as a getaway after Grace graduates. When given the circumstances, Grace acts as Cordelia Winthrop Scott, a snooty heiress. Adventures ensue, and love is found but Grace is herself (personality-wose) as she plays Cordelia.

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This film is often compared to The Lizzie McGuire Movie, but they have such different characteristics. Monte Carlo is set in Europe, as does the LIzzie McGuire Movie, but as Grace is taking over for Cordelia without Cordelia knowing, Lizzie McGuire is pretty much suckered into becoming Isabella. Both set in Europe, France/Monte Carlo & Rome, the characters embark on impersonations that are polar opposites of their real life. Grace becoming an heiress, and Lizzie becoming an international superstar. Yes, it may be similar plot, but the story lines develop differently, and therefore the movies play out in different ways thus separating them from comparison.




I highly recommend this film for kids up until young adults. It is a happy-go-lucky type of film, and will put a smile on your face. 

American Virgin

A VIRGIN IN AMERICA?? 

        Priscilla (Jenna Dewan), is a girl who has devoted her life to chastity and following rules, goes to college on scholarship from an organization that promotes celibacy.

       Her new roommate is the decidedly impure Naz (Brianne Davis). During a wild party that involves the main man behind the hugely popular "Chicks Go Crazy" series (Rob Schneider) Priscilla is persuaded by Naz to stay and have some jello. The jello is tasty enough but the vodka in it alters the teetotal Priscilla into a wild party girl and the rest of the movie sees her trying to recover the footage of her outrageous behavior. Naz is determined to help her, as is both Kevin (Elan Moss-Bachrach) and the smitten Chuck (Chase Ryan Jeffery).

        She and her new-found college friends embark on a journey to save her reputation and her scholarship by getting the footage back. Along the way she learns lots of lessons about life and and love.

        One scene in particular stands out in my mind is when he caught her boyfriend having sex with another girl. I saw the pain, disappointment and anger in Priscilla's eyes. And she can't believe she is saving herself (virginity) for him not knowing he have been fooling her all along. 

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       One funny moment that marked on my mind was that when she went to a bar and asked every guy she saw to have sex with her but no questions, no exchanging of names and addresses, no everything, just sex!  

      I've never seen a film that contained so much adult content and yet felt so geared towards being a family movie. I really don't know who this movie was made for. On the one hand, the story is so fluffy it seems like pubescent girls were the target demographic. On the other hand there's the raunchy college humor and frequent nudity. 

                 

Beastly

           Kyle Kingson has it all - looks, intelligence, wealth and opportunity - and a wicked cruel streak. Prone to mocking and humiliating "aggressively unattractive" classmates, he zeroes in on Goth classmate Kendra, inviting her to the school's extravagant environmental bash. Kendra accepts, and, true to form, Kyle blows her off in a particularly savage fashion. She retaliates by casting a spell that physically transforms him into everything he despises.

           Enraged by his horrible and unrecognizable appearance he confronts Kendra and learns that the only solution to the curse is to find someone that will love him as he is - a task he considers impossible. Repulsed by his appearance, Kyle's callous father banishes him to Brooklyn with a sympathetic housekeeper and blind tutor.

          

           As Kyle ponders how to overcome the curse and get his old life back, he chances upon a drug addict in the act of killing a threatening dealer. Seizing the opportunity, Kyle promises the addict freedom and safety for his daughter, Lindy if she will consent to live in Kyle's Brooklyn home. Thus begins Kyle's journey to discover true love in this hyper-modern retelling of the classic "Beauty and the Beast" story. 

The concept of this story is brilliant, it's a shame the director failed to pull it off. Every great movie has at least one actor pulling us out of our seats and into the story. It was like watching a series of scenes like clips, it didn't flow. A two dimensional feel with depth. The set can sometimes be too sterile when filming and the chemistry between actors never reaches it's connection, maybe that was it. What ever occurred during production, nobody should have heard the words that's a wrap. The story deserves a remake because it addresses a flaw in human nature that rarely penetrates our fear of being rejected. Beastly is another Beauty and the Beast story having a different twist.

Letters to Juliet

When a young American travels to the city of Verona, home of the star-crossed lover Juliet Capulet of Romeo and Juliet fame, she joins a group of volunteers who respond to letters to Juliet seeking advice about love. After answering one letter dated 1951, she inspires its author to travel to Italy in search of her long-lost love and sets off a chain of events that will bring a love into both their lives unlike anything they ever imagined.

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Every so often, a movie comes along that seems to hit the right notes. One that actually moves you. As the cliche goes, it makes you laugh, it makes you cry.

This film is one of those.

The movie stars Amanda Seyfried (Chloe, Dear John) as Sophie, a fact-checker at the New Yorker who wants to be a writer, but lacks the courage to let anyone read her work. Her fiance, workaholic Victor (Gael Garcia Bernal), is planning to open a restaurant, so they take a "pre-honeymoon" trip to Italy before the opening.

Once there, Victor predictably makes it a working vacation and wants to visit the suppliers. Sophie is left to sightsee alone. She finds the home of Juliet, where heartbroken women leave notes for Juliet's "secretaries" to answer with advice. It is there that Juliet finds a note from Clare (Vanessa Redgrave), which she answers. This leads to Clare and her grandson Charlie (Christopher Egan) traveling to Verona to start a search for her long-lost first love, Lorenzo (Franco Nero).

We all know how it ends, but like in life, it's the journey that matters. Along the way, we are treated to scenes of old Verona city streets, sun-washed vineyards, and meals with Italian families. You can almost taste the food...I found that one of the refreshing aspects of the movie was the male characters. They're more realistic than in most romantic comedies. We all know the Victors of the world who are consumed with their work. And we all know the Charlies who kind of pale in comparison to the intensity of the Victors, but are generally good-hearted souls who will be more better in relationships in the long-run.Egan's performance as Charlie is particularly effective. He brings a sense of humor to Charlie's stuffiness. He's so stuffy that it's funny. Gael Garcia Bernal gives his usual great performance, this time in a supporting role. His Victor is not the bad guy, but he's the kind of guy that is so passionate about his work, that there's no room for women like Sophie who want more from a relationship.Vanessa Redgrave is fantastic as Claire. She brings a sense of gravitas, wisdom, and a lot of warmth to the role. She and Seyfried play off well against each other. And when Claire meets her Lorenzo... let's just say the tissues came out in force.My only problem with the film is that it sometimes moves to quickly. The scenery passes by too quickly. And some of the scenes between Sophie and Charlie in the cafes and under the stars are a bit too succinct. I would have liked to have seen more about why Sophie and Charlie are perfect for each other, and the magic of meeting "the One" on tour in a foreign land.This is a romantic film with believable male characters and a lot of heart. It's reminiscent of "Under the Tuscan Sun," so if you liked that film you should like this one, too.If you're taking your girlfriend on a date, and your name is not George Clooney, then you're in luck. Not only will you get credit for taking her to see a romance, but she may come out of the film looking at you with a new sense of appreciation.

Bad Teacher

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The film's rhythms are disjointed, and there are tedious patches and gaping holes in the story. No one bothered to create anything beyond a vague outline of a superficial character.

Elizabeth is not dumb, so why she chose teaching when she has so little regard for students or the educational process is a mystery. And if she's bent on meeting rich guys, there are better places to do it. Even in a silly comedy, there should be some sense of the lead character's motives and back story if the audience is expected to give a hoot.---Cladia Puig, USA Today.